Blogging the experience of gameplayhttps://www.gamelog.cl/gamers/GamerPage.php?idgamer=1170https://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4119In my third session, the killing of students continued. I hated that you can taunt the person you kill. It’s awful that they really did that, even to people who had never bullied them. Only in one instance did one of the killers decide to let someone go. After another half hour of killing, I got bored and gave up hope that I would advance much further in the game. I wanted to see what would happen after, but it seemed like I would have to play for hours to get to that point. In reflection, my favorite thing about this game is how it forces the player to emphasize with Eric and Dylan, at least a little bit. There were references to and cut scenes showing Eric and Dylan being bullied and taunted at school. Everyone can relate to feeling lonely and isolated and angry. Especially in the high school setting. This game humanizes them and shows that they were two messed up boys who handled their feelings the wrong way. I really appreciated that aspect of SCM. My least favorite thing about SCM is the realism. Not in the animation, but in the cut scenes and dialogue. This really happened, and I keep wondering what it would look like if this game were made today. Games are looking more and more lifelike, so playing SCM with that kind of development would be even more unsettling. After my third and final session of SCM, I decided to Google the game to read other reactions. There were a ton of people saying the game is unethical and should be banned, etc. I didn’t like the game, but I think these people are not only missing the point, but kind of ridiculous. The point of SCM isn’t to show how awesome or justified the Columbine shooting was. It’s to make points about media, violence, and the state of our society as a whole. It irks me that those who don’t like the game don’t acknowledge the developer’s rights to freedom of expression and free speech. Even if the point of the game was to glorify Eric and Dylan, they have a right to do that. There are TONS of games that honestly glorify violence with no real point or statement, yet the media and watchdogs don’t blast those constantly. It’s like violence isn’t okay in a game like Grand Theft Auto or Super Columbine Massacre, but as soon as it’s in a different setting like Bioshock or Just Cause everything is fine. This kind of hypocrisy really angers me. I don’t like violence in games at all, which is why I don’t play them. To me, it seems like everyone else could just have that mindset.Mon, 22 Feb 2010 10:19:04 CDThttps://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4119&iddiary=7706https://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4119This time I actually killed people. I hated it. Killing in games is unpleasant enough for me, but these characters represents real teens that were murdered. When I shot girls, I remembered a time the parents of a girl who was killed in this shooting spoke at my school. I thought of those parents and the heartbreak they endured. I remembered how one of the boys asked her if she believed in God, and shot her when she said yes. I hated using guns and bombs to kill people. The cafeteria killing was even more unsettling because the students were running around trying to escape. When a bomb went off and there was fire, one of the guys said, “got any marshmallows?” After I killed some people, there was a cut scene about how lonely Eric (or maybe Dylan?) was and how he just wanted someone to notice how he sat alone in the cafeteria. This scene was so empathetic and showed how lonely and hurt these boys were. In my first GameLog I mentioned now liking how evil they seemed, so this cut scene definitely took away from that. Eventually, the game started to feel boring and repetitive. The shooting didn’t really change or interest me, and I just wanted to be over. This part didn’t seem realistic, because as I recall, it didn’t last that long. The use of real stills and news clips was very interesting. There was a short clip of President Clinton talking, and I think that would take players out of the game and remember how shocked the nation was when this happened. It was a huge deal. Maybe this was done so that as the player kills, they know what damage it will have.Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:12:19 CDThttps://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4119&iddiary=7696https://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4119My first try at playing Super Columbine Massacre RPG was uncomfortable. From the first moments watching the cut scenes I found the game to be disturbing. It felt voyeuristic to read actual quotes and see images of the boys. It bothered me how during game play, I actually wanted to complete the mission. It took me a really long time to get past the narks and to the cafeteria, and I got really frustrated. I was actually getting angry with the innocent students for stopping me from planting bombs. I actually wanted to succeed in killing other students. One thing I noticed about the game is that it was probably easier to do in real life than in the game. Most schools have awful security and someone could just walk in with weapons and open fire, especially before Columbine happened. After planting the bombs, Dylan and Eric say on a bench overlooking the city. I really wasn’t sure what to make of that. It seemed intimate watching two people process their last day of life. If this were any other game I wouldn’t really think about it, but this is real. It's just unsettling. I’m aware that SCM is supposed to be social commentary, but I guess I’m unsure at this point what the developers are trying to say. At one point one of the boys even says something like “the mainstream media will have a blast with this”. So far I see the portrayal and Eric and Dylan as evil, and I wonder if that’s making fun of how the media portrayed them. Of course what they did was horrible, but they were genuinely troubled young men, not necessarily evil. I think it’s funny how there was a mention of Marilyn Manson and during the game I hear MIDI versions of Nirvana and Radiohead. The media made a huge fuss over what Dylan and Eric listened to, which I’ve always found to be ridiculous. I love Nirvana and used to listen to Marilyn Manson, and ended up a pacifist. Music hardly made me violent and angry. I think the developers included these references in the game to make a point about the media’s affect on teens, kind of smirking at how the media blamed what Eric and Dylan listened to for their anger.Sat, 20 Feb 2010 16:19:21 CDThttps://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4119&iddiary=7690https://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4081On my third day of playing, I finally discovered an aspect of the game I enjoy- cheat codes. Some of them are really funny (wearing a jet pack, getting really fat, all of the prostitutes wearing dildos) and it helped me realize that the game and the developers don’t take it as seriously as I have been. Today I tried thinking from the perspective of the game developers. One thing that I’ve kept saying in my game log is that the lifestyle portrayed isn’t a healthy or glamorous one, and that it’s harder for white kids from the suburbs to understand that. Then it dawned on me that probably 99.99% of the people making the game fit into that group. So to these developers, the thought of gang life isn’t a reality at all. And it obviously sells. Just a random thought. The stereotypes in this game are really strong. Women are “hos” and tools for men to use. None of the white people are threats, only the Hispanic and black people. Older people don’t really enter the game. All cops are the enemy. The stereotypes are so prevalent that I stopped wondering if any white people were “ballas” or threats to my missions. In my game log yesterday, I talked about how there was a mission to beat up a crack dealer. I didn’t think it made sense for CJ and the gang to do this, but my friend told me the police are in on it so that helped me realize that this is their only solution. In this case, they have to make their own laws and moral code because the moral code given to us by the government and law is failing. I guess it makes sense that they would have to take matters into their own hands. Beating up a crack dealer made me cringe, but the beatings and thefts and murders are seen as self-defense. I find it interesting how behaviors that I would never do in real life are rewarded in the game. In my first game log, I think I noted that if you want to advance in the game, there isn’t room for ethical decisions. After realizing that, I just stopped thinking about what I was doing and didn’t think twice before shooting anyone. After all, it gives my character more street cred and respect. I had to go buy some clothes to represent my gang, and I was praised for killing the people in the store instead of paying for the clothing. What is really starting to bother me about the game is how there aren’t any real consequences for CJ or anyone else. The police rarely show up, and when they do it’s just a matter of killing them and driving away in a new stolen car. There is no real accountability for the players. The player is invincible. If you die in the game, you start over. Since CJ is invincible, the player might get the subconscious message that they will be too if they do things like this in life. Right and wrong as displayed in this game are really ambiguous. In the game, what is considered wrong by most in the real world is right.Mon, 18 Jan 2010 13:32:05 CDThttps://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4081&iddiary=7634https://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4081. (This entry has been edited1 time. It was last edited on Mon, 18 Jan 2010 13:32:44.)Mon, 18 Jan 2010 13:31:34 CDThttps://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4081&iddiary=7633https://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4081After playing the game for a few hours, I'm starting to get a better sense of what it's about. I was thinking about how CJ has been doing really unethical things. But to him, he is doing these things out of loyalty and to him that makes them morally sound. One trying to defend the game could apply ethical relativism here, saying that in San Andreas, what CJ and the Grove Street Family is doing is normal, and therefore those of us living in Chicago can't judge them. Another thing that advocates of the game would probably argue is that CJ and his crew are merely acting out of self defense. And at first the missions are somewhat harmless. I didn't feel like tagging was a bid deal (especially because I enjoy doing it in real life). Stealing from a pizza parlor seemed wrong, but no one was really hurt. But when the mission was to beat up a crack dealer, I was really conflicted. CJs moral compass tells him that drug dealing is wrong, but he is still using violence as a way to deal with it. Another thought that came to me was Kant's thoughts of using a person as a means to an end. CJ is acting out of loyalty, but to me it seems like his "friends" are merely using him as means to an end (getting their street cred back). CJ and everyone in the game also use women in the same way Kant would object to. The only purpose of women in this game is for the men to feel pleasure or to enjoy hurting. I don't believe that in cases like violence against women or racism, relativism should apply to the fictional San Andreas or even video games. It isn't reality, but it is still teaching values that if acted out in our society, will be punished. One aspect of the game I find very interesting is how corrupt the police are. It made me think of the Chicago police and that history of brutality. So in some ways, this game is kind of accurate. I find that sad, but it's true. But after taking all of these thoughts into consideration, I still can't see this game in a positive light. Last summer a popular and beloved guy who went to my high school was murdered. He was in a gang and the violence sparked over a pair of Air Jordans. Watching GTF:SA reminds me of senseless deaths like these. The guy left behind a newborn son who will never know him. So to me, glorifying this kind of violence is unacceptable. It isn't fun or glamorous.Sun, 17 Jan 2010 14:13:54 CDThttps://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4081&iddiary=7627https://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4081I really did not enjoy my first video game experience. Watching the intro video for GTA shocked me. It blatantly promotes stereotypes all of all races. Perceived racism aside, GTA leaves no room for ethical choices. I quickly learned that if I wanted to progress in the game, I would have to steal and kill. From the beginning it bothered me how minorities were portrayed. Most black and hispanic people were stupid thugs. The only white person who had a speaking role worked at the pizza parlor, and he was talking in that nerdy voice people use for impressions of whites. But really, any time a character spoke, it made me cringe. It's easy to picture young people emulating what they hear. It made me think of when I first came to DePaul and was shocked to hear white suburbanites saying the "n word" to each other without pause. If someone in the city I'm from said that, it would not go down well. The portrayal of women in this game is also ridiculous. They are stupid and seen as either sex objects or targets for violence. A friend sat with me to coach me through the game and told me to hit a woman to see what would happen. As CJ began beating her, he said "I blame society!". What worries me about the portrayals of gender and race in this game is what it will teach the young people who play it. I know older gamers are able to differentiate between game and reality, but will young children in the suburbs understand what they're seeing? I come from a city that has gang violence, and it isn't cool or exciting. It's sad. I think this game glorifies so many things that most people don't consider ethical (i.e. killing). The values presented in this game a messed up. CJ is trying to be loyal to his family and friends, but in order to do so he has to commit robberies and murders. It's late now, and I'm having trouble articulating my thoughts. I think before my next entry I'll go through the class notes and see what connections I can make.Sat, 16 Jan 2010 00:31:10 CDThttps://www.gamelog.cl/logs/LogPage.php?Log_Id=4081&iddiary=7616