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    Mar 28th, 2014 at 15:51:40     -    Columbine RPG (PC)

    Round 3:
    So we pulled the fire alarm, shot some more kids, grabbed Nietzsche’s book and then entered the library. After blowing up a few tables we decided to have a shootout with the cops, ended by a double suicide and a question: What a better world it would be if these boys only had their own tropical island together... free from the oppression of American culture?
    However the island cut-scene shows them as confused and hypocritical. Sometimes they want fame are are massacring because they know their voices will be heard, but then they don’t bother to leave any last words because they believe they will be unread... because, you know - society.
    The game does a decent job of portraying the boys as immature and in need of proper guidance, which can be said about mostly every teenager, but for some reason these particular two just went too far, or thought their suffering was great enough to justify their behavior(?). The games does not go beyond generic complaints and platitudes as to why they killed everyone, but then maybe the boys had no greater reason why either.
    This moment of reflection is brought about by pictures of the dead boys and other victims, showcasing the aftermath and suffering... directly followed by a journey through hell.
    I was mostly bored of the game by this point though.
    In hell I took control of Vodka - the other boy.
    He died after some exploration and the ending screen says “Suburban monotony lives on.”
    I am not sure how I feel about a sarcastic ending. To some extent I agree - suburban monotony is a real thing; monotony in any culture or through any task is a potential side effect. I do not agree that the best and most effective way to fight monotony is through a killing spree, as the ending message might suggest. The more I play this game the more I think that it’s generally a poor attempt at deep reflections on a serious topic. I almost feel like we as a culture are giving the game more credence than it deserves, when it’s really much more simple and naive than interpreted. However I am glad it was created, because it did generate awareness about the shooting, and created a space where society can potentially consider the more meaningful catalysts for events like this, and it also builds the ‘art form’ of video games a larger foundation for greater comments, themes, and topics, allowing more serious games to be created...

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    Mar 26th, 2014 at 18:33:23     -    Columbine RPG (PC)

    Round 2:
    I didn't realize that I needed to Manually retrieve the bombs from the trunk of my car… Once that was established the rest was a ‘cake walk’. We went in and rigged the cafeteria to explode around 11:17, and then had a meaningful moment overlooking the downtown sprawl of ‘Colorado’, reflecting on how dumb it is to lead a healthy and productive life - time to prove our theories the ‘fun’ way; we armed our car bomb and then sat back waiting for the strategic bombs to go off. But to our surprise we set the timers wrong and none went off. Being a sophisticated terrorist is more difficult than expected, or maybe we are just stupid… only time will tell. Not wanting to give in, we decided to go ahead with our plan and start the killing spree. With little resistance we cleared the parking lot, headed into the school and emptied out a few classrooms and hallways. At this point in the game I was hoping for more connection to the situation - perhaps if each encounter there was a little, random blurb about the student we were killing, such as, “Preppy Girl. Didn’t we have home room with her?” or more interaction between Reb and Vodka. I appreciated the encouraging words upon a critical attack, but if there was more interaction I would have been drawn into the situation more; after some minutes of easy killing I became bored and lost a lot of the initial disturbance the game provided. The first 10 people killed were off-putting and I cringed the whole time, but shortly after it turned into a game and I lost the connection to the situation. Upon entering the cafeteria Vodka suggested to pull the fire alarm to make it more interesting, but the gamer inside of me didn’t want to because I felt a need to make sure I ‘cleared’ the level before advancing further, so I left the cafeteria and continued down the side halls. This is where I stopped though.

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    Mar 25th, 2014 at 18:11:24     -    Columbine RPG (PC)

    First 30 minutes.
    I was beginning to feel connected to the kids. The game’s characters and music offered me an escape to my suburban youth, while the narrative and interactions allowed me to partly empathize with them. I felt a sense of excitement and danger as we packed up in the basement and watched Marlon Brando’s soliloquy on the subject of judgement. Then we arrived at the school. I was thrown off by there being challenges. The first thing I did was get spotted by the security camera, then I tried to talk to a cute girl in the halls, but she made fun of me, and then a janitor told me to get out of the cafeteria. Eventually I learned the tricks of the game and was able to roam the cafeteria with little danger, but I couldn’t find the place to plant the bomb… I searched high and low, left and right, but spacebar had no effect, outside of pulling the fire alarm. I suppose I am not in a patient mood, because at the 30 minute mark I quit the session. I will probably check the internet to find out where the bomb goes.

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    Feb 3rd, 2014 at 15:50:35     -    Grand Theft Auto San Andreas (PC)

    This time playing was much different than the previous two sessions.
    It was Monday in the game, and it's Monday in real life, so I decided to take this opportunity to role-play.
    I approximated what I did in real life in the game.
    CJ went to the grocery store, went to the gym, 'walked the dog', met with some friends, etc.
    Like me the whole time CJ rode a bike. Granted I didn't steal my bike, but we still used the same mode of transportation and roughly took part in the same activities.
    CJ had a few gang fights along the way and a couple of run-ins with the police, neither which I encountered, however I viewed these events as game-world side effects to the main goal - errands.
    All of the immoral activities within the game were primarily unintentional.
    As such they were almost a frustrating inconvenience rather than an immoral choice of action.
    Within the framework of the game these moments are difficult to avoid.
    When rolling down the street on a bike and quickly taking a corner it is easy to accidentally bump into a pedestrian.
    Due to chance these pedestrians are sometimes cops or rival gang members, which usually ends in at least one death.
    In real life I have more control and awareness so I avoid colliding with people, and would not murder someone.
    Having the mechanics and controls work towards immoral acts I doubt was a designer's choice, rather my reckless playing.
    The main point of this post is that I was allow to role-play myself in the situation of CJ.
    I was attempting to put myself in the shoes of CJ. What if I was CJ and in his situation?
    My mom just died and my neighborhood is messed up. I can't go on rampage missions every day.
    Sometimes I need to take it slow and attend to the mundane. Even though I am trying to 'play it safe' and not start any trouble, I still wound up killing a few people.
    I am not sure if this makes me empathize more with CJ's life as a representation of an underprivileged person.
    I recognize CJ's world is one of fiction, loosely based in truth. I suppose if CJ, in real life, ran into a group of rival gang members on a BMX bike they would try to beat him up; likewise a police officer.
    Seems like the consequences for the actions are realistic, but it being a game I don't consider them realistic because the world feels to far removed from reality.

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