Aleclom's Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (XBX)
| [January 20, 2009 10:01:24 PM]
| San Andreas Ė Day 3|
Final day of my little GTA assignment. I donít want to waste any more space, so Iím going to skip ahead like 20 minutes to when I finally complete that graffiti mission. Frigginí turf wars. I get a phone call from a cop who threatens me about something, I dunno. Anyway, I find some brass knuckles underneath a bridge, which is pretty cool. My next mission involves confronting some dude, and that Ryder guy tags along. We learn that drugs are messing up the Ďhood (drugs can do that?! NO WAY), so we decide to beat up a crack dealer. Thatíll surely solve our problem.
After that, we have to go killÖsomeone else. Maybe the leader of the area? I donít know; all I know is that it takes like twice as long to get there because Ryderís a little bitch and runs slowly. I canít believe GTA has a freakiní escort mission. Anyway, we take out some more drug dealers, and the mission ends. Who knew cleaning up the streets would be so easy?
Iím getting bored of the story AGAIN, so I decide to, once more, terrorize the streets. I take the baseball bat I got last mission and pummel a bunch of random dudes. The cops naturally arrive, so I take them out and steal their guns. I shoot the driver of the ambulance that arrives and ride off into the streets, running down everyone I see. Eventually I ditch it and hijack a cop car; maybe I can disguise myself. They still seem to recognize me, though (probably due to the fact that Iím running people over), and still give chase. The car eventually gets too damaged, so I ditch it and take one of the copsí motorcycles.
Anyway, they finally manage to kill me after a climactic shootout where I take out like 8 cops with a shotgun. It was pretty cool and a lot more fun than any of the missions so far. Well, I think Iím pretty finished with this game. Time for my final thoughts:
The game is a decent waste of time, I can see how people spend hours just causing as much mayhem as possible. However, the actual Ďstoryí part is contrived, stereotypical, and feels tacked on. But hey, not a whole lot of people buy these games for the missions. I think itís funny how the game got so boring for me that I decided to be as evil and morally abysmal as I could possibly be. Yes, the game stereotypes blacks, Mexicans, and pretty much anyone who lives in the ghetto. But honestly, it seems so purposefully hurtful that it just comes out as harmless, like an affectionate parody or something.
Society hates these games because it seemingly encourages people to go out and do terrible things, but really itís just offering people an escape to act out these urges without any repercussions. Itís not like parents ever complain when kids play cops and robbers; I think the only reason this game has been such a target is because itís one of the most Ďrealí fantasies out there. Eventually something much worse and more realistic will come out, and then everyone will shrug off GTA and focus on this new thing. A similar thing happened with The Simpsons. When it first came out, Bart was like the epitome of mischief, and people thought he was a terrible role model. Nowadays, with characters like Cartman walking around, Bart seems pretty tame.
So yes, this game encourages moral indifference during gameplay, but I honestly donít think it deserves the amount of attention and scrutiny that it receives. On a more personal note, this game bored me and I wonít be playing it again. Frigginí graffiti.
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| [January 20, 2009 12:13:23 AM]
| San Andreas Ė Day 2|
I start up the game again, finally ridding myself of the stench of that horrible failure from last time. Guess Iíll follow the story for awhile. I get a phone call from some dude. I hang up after like 5 seconds because I really donít care. I walk down the street and meet some dude named Ryder or something. He calls me a bitch and we drive to the barberís. Guess we need a haircut something fierce; I can see why society hates these games. I change my hairstyle to an afro and beard; you know, to strike fear into the hearts of my enemies.
Now we go to a pizza place. Seriously, Mario games are more violent than this. Now Ryder is robbing the pizza place with a gun, for some reason. And the pizza dude whips out a shotgun, so we run away. Yippee. Anyway, I continue along the storyline. Uh oh, now Iíve gotta spray some graffiti! Look out cops, I am a menace to society. The graffiti spots Iím supposed to tag are hard to find, though. After like 10 minutes I get fed up and kill a few people with the spray paint. Of course, a cop shows up and beats me down. I need a gun or something.
Along the way back to the mission I failed, I run into a gang of purple dudes. They open fire and I run like crazy. I guess Iím in the wrong neighborhood. Anyway, I finally get back home to save, so I decide to explore my house. Itís pretty desolate except for a game I can play in-game. Itís called ďIt Crawled From Uranus.Ē Funny. Itís basically an Asteroids clone. I also find a camera upstairs. I donít know why I would use it, but whatever.
After another like 15 minutes of fruitless graffiti hunting, I get extremely agitated. So what do I do? I punch out a cop on a motorcycle. A cop car stops to arrest me, and I spray them with my spray paint. They drop a gun, yay! I shoot another cop car that stops and ride off on the motorcycle. After a long chase that claims a few more cops I accidentally ramp into the river. My wanted level is 3 stars, so a helicopter comes and shoots me dead in the water. Ah well, at least itís better than being wasted by a prostitute. Maybe Iím a decent gangster after all.
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| [January 18, 2009 07:14:52 PM]
| San Andreas Ė Day 1|
I popped the game in and watched the opening cinematics. Iím a stereotypical thug, cool. I'm leaving the air port, returning from out of town. Iím here to bury my mom or something, but the cops are out to get me and make my life hell, I guess. Why they be hatiní? They arrest me and drive around, eventually arriving in a bad neighborhood. They throw me out of the car, and I gain control. Thereís a bike, which the game tells me to hop on. Who am I to argue? I pedal off and immediately crash into the first telephone pole in the game. Yeesh, controls are kinda jittery. I get back on, and not 20 feet further I nearly hit an officer. He immediately destroys me with his nightstick and arrests me. Wow, I have to be the worst gangster ever. I ďwake upĒ at the police station, and decide to keep moving. I lost my bike though, so now I have to walk to my target, CJ or something. That is, until I remember what game Iím playing. I run out into the middle of the street and carjack the first dude who comes by. What now, bitches?
I arrive at CJís, with my car in less than great condition (who actually drives on roads, anyway?). The house is empty, and Carl (my character) is freaking out for some reason. I realize this is my house because some dude called Big Smoke comes in and calls me CJ. And he tells me my mom was murdered, so I guess that will be my mission for this game. And now we drive offÖsomewhere. Iíll be honest, Iím not paying attention to the cutscenes. We meet up with some other dudes, and everyone starts yelling. And then someone does a drive-by, a car explodes, and I regain control. I hop onto a bike and follow the other guys I was with. The car chases us and shoots us a few times. What a jerk.
Anyway, we get back to our part of the neighborhood. I save the game, and decide to ditch the main story for a bit. The guys Iím with just keep making fun of me, so I think Iíll find something fun to do. I hate riding the bike, so I carjack some dudeís van. The driver actually puts up a fight, so I pummel his face until he goes down. Sweet. I start driving, and see a group of people dressed in purple. I figure theyíre a rival gang or something, so I run them down. Gotta represent my crew. I keep driving around, looking for something to do. So many buildings, yet I canít go into any of them. Itís no wonder why I left this place. I accidentally drive into a river, so I ditch the van.
I hijack a semi-truck this time, but a cop sees me, so I speed out of there. Well, speed as well as a truck can. I eventually leave the truck in the middle of the street and cause a traffic jam; evil personified. I'm growing extremely bored, so I decide to cause as much trouble as I can before I stop for the night. I punch out a prostitute whoís near me. Astonishingly, she whips out a gun and completely destroys me. The screen fades to black, and I wake up at the hospital. I am seriously the worst gangster ever.
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