Tuesday 20 January, 2009
San Andreas Ė Day 2
I start up the game again, finally ridding myself of the stench of that horrible failure from last time. Guess Iíll follow the story for awhile. I get a phone call from some dude. I hang up after like 5 seconds because I really donít care. I walk down the street and meet some dude named Ryder or something. He calls me a bitch and we drive to the barberís. Guess we need a haircut something fierce; I can see why society hates these games. I change my hairstyle to an afro and beard; you know, to strike fear into the hearts of my enemies.
Now we go to a pizza place. Seriously, Mario games are more violent than this. Now Ryder is robbing the pizza place with a gun, for some reason. And the pizza dude whips out a shotgun, so we run away. Yippee. Anyway, I continue along the storyline. Uh oh, now Iíve gotta spray some graffiti! Look out cops, I am a menace to society. The graffiti spots Iím supposed to tag are hard to find, though. After like 10 minutes I get fed up and kill a few people with the spray paint. Of course, a cop shows up and beats me down. I need a gun or something.
Along the way back to the mission I failed, I run into a gang of purple dudes. They open fire and I run like crazy. I guess Iím in the wrong neighborhood. Anyway, I finally get back home to save, so I decide to explore my house. Itís pretty desolate except for a game I can play in-game. Itís called ďIt Crawled From Uranus.Ē Funny. Itís basically an Asteroids clone. I also find a camera upstairs. I donít know why I would use it, but whatever.
After another like 15 minutes of fruitless graffiti hunting, I get extremely agitated. So what do I do? I punch out a cop on a motorcycle. A cop car stops to arrest me, and I spray them with my spray paint. They drop a gun, yay! I shoot another cop car that stops and ride off on the motorcycle. After a long chase that claims a few more cops I accidentally ramp into the river. My wanted level is 3 stars, so a helicopter comes and shoots me dead in the water. Ah well, at least itís better than being wasted by a prostitute. Maybe Iím a decent gangster after all.